


Insomnia

by double_negative



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: (of a sort), Angst, Graphic Fire Descriptions, Hallucinations, Insomnia, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mind Meld, Nightmares, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24350569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/double_negative/pseuds/double_negative
Summary: Mantis almost never sleeps anymore.Liquid learns why the hard way.
Relationships: Liquid Snake/Psycho Mantis
Kudos: 15





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't slept properly in a week so if this feels even more raw and unedited than usual, you know why.  
> i just want some rest, eh, but at this point i guess i'll sleep when i am dead.
> 
> it's set almost directly after the merging-with-a-serial-killer thing and they're not exactly lovey-dovey in this.  
> no good feels ahead.

If someone asked Liquid, what was the weirdest most annoying thing about his partner, he'd say it's his sleeping habits. Mantis seldom sleeps, he prefers to watch Liquid sleep, silently, with another cup of coffee and a book. It's unnerving, to be watched while you're so vulnerable, it's kind of insulting Liquid's pride that his boyfriend won't cuddle with him in bed as they so often did as kids. When they met up again, it turned out that Mantis developed quite a case of insomnia and even on the rare occasion he felt sleepy, he'd rather keep himself awake by consuming ungodly amounts of caffeine. At first, Liquid teased him how that much coffee could probably kill a person and really, was dying that much better than sleeping, but in response Mantis would just hum absentmindedly, pouring himself what seemed like a tenth cup in the span of one evening. And that tiny noncomittal hum was something that hurt Liquid as well. They never kept secrets from each other and before Mantis could at least dignify his needling with some overly agressive remark or a flare of annoyance.

Mantis disappears sometimes, at random times of the day, their link cut short, dead air filling the frequency. Liquid is sure, he tries to sleep in that span of time, because honestly, he doesn't think he saw Mantis actually sleep for months. He has to be getting rest somehow. But Mantis just shruggs it off. "I get rest when you sleep. It's fine".

And it's not, it's not fine, but Liquid figures he can deal with that. It's not like they depend on each other as much as they did, they're adults now with their own decisions, they can take care of themselves.

Liquid sleeps without dreams. He's not sure when it's started, but he blames it on the military discipline. His mind shuts off almost as soon as his head hits the pillow and he always akes up exactly on the dot, rested if not a bit annoyed that his boyfriend much rather stay out of their bed for most nights. Mantis claims that mental link works for sleeping as well, even though it feels more like a meditation. Liquid can not believe that could be enough for anyone.

And there are other signs that Mantis doesn't get enough sleep. He's always been irritable, but now instead of jabbing and needling at Liquid, he's just... distant. A vague presence of something uncertain. He spaces out and drops things, only to catch them mid-air with a burst of telekinetics as if nothing is wrong. What is the most striking though, is his eyes. When he lets Liquid take of his mask, his eyes are shaded with exhaustion, heavy-set with prominent dark bags. They make him look almost uncanny, like an animated corpse. What's worse Mantis can't not know that Liquid is concerned about him. Liquid was never that great at concealing his emotions. Mantis though, now shields himself all the time, putting up walls to Liquid's incessant worried probing.

It's unfair, Liquid thinks. Their bond was always mutual. Being the only one open, tthe only one who's thoughts are always shared makes him even more uncomfortable than sleep-watching. It's unfair, he thinks, until the first night Mantis actually sleeps in his presence. He more passes out than goes willingly, right in the chair wwhere he curled up with his coffee. And Liquid learns that you can't exactly hold up the mental walls while you're sleeping. The damb breaks and water rushes out, decimating everything in it's path.

At first Liquid doesn't even realise what's happening as Mantis stops in the middle of the sentence and goes slack. He panics, worrying about Mantis, but then immidiately he chokes, suffocating in clear air.

*

...The air is hot, so hot it burns his lungs, it doesn't bring any relief when he sucks it into his lungs. He feels like he's on fire, inside and out, but the fire isn't even close to where he's standing. His vision blurs and all he can see is red splotches of an inferno, marring his vision, sky whited out by smoke and falling ash. Every breath he manages feels grating like sandpaper on his throat, he's breathing in thick, almost palpable heat and ash fills his lungs. He coughs and it only brings splitting pain, like his chest is about to split, about to burst. It's only when he doubles over, strangled coughs spilling out of his throat, he realises there's sound in this world too.

At first it's distant. The roar of fire, the howling of wind, doing nothing to clear up the air, anly stoking the flames higher. There's sounds of wood splintering and then unmistakeably something bubbling and popping, _sizzling_. After that - faraway, then closer, closer, wails of anguish and pain so immeasurable, so profound it brings the blood in his veins to a boiling point. He's scared. He's seen worse, he knows it, but he's scared now.

He manages to raise his head back up, his breathing laboured, wracked with coughs. He feels lightheaded, on the verge of passing out, but his vision focuses on what's in front of him, and his choking gasp unravels into another fit of suffocating hacking. There's tears in his eyes, he's not sure if it's from the smoke or from the lack of oxygen, but it doesn't help in the least to cool him down and worse, doesn't obstruct his vision in any way.

What he sees is Mantis. At least, he's pretty sure that it's him. A gaunt figure, all angles, enveloped in a fiery blaze from head to toe. The sizzling sound comes from the figure, Liquid realises and it becomes louder because the figure approaches, seemingly unaware of the fire that is consuming it, half-floating, half-walking in the haze of the heat, the shape changing and shifting, licked by the flames, and it's closer and closer, until Liquid can smell the sickly-sweet scent of burning meat mixed with the sticky tang of burning rubber.

The figure extends a hand towards him, dripping in fire and molten flesh, it's face coming into focus and it's a mess off melted plastic and fire, gas mask lenses cracked and glinting red like hot coals, peering straight through him, looking down on him, half-curled up on himself, heaving from the taste of ash on his tongue, ash from what he realises now are human beings, being burned alive.

There's almost pity in the figure's gaze. It lifts it's hands up to the melting mask and catches it's crumbling fingers on what's left of it, trying to rip it off, but more like scraping uselessly at charred rubber that's dripping down what is supposed to be his face and in the crackling of fire and sizzling of flesh Liquid distinctly hears laboured breathing, useless wet gasps, as if the figure, as if Mantis is trying to get enough air in his lungs to tell him something...  
  
*

"Get ahold of yourself", Liquid hears through the haze. He struggles to process his surroundings as if he's... been asleep all that time, for wwhat seemed like an eternity, stuck in place. The figure from his nightmare is before him and his bleary eyes and sleep-addled mind can't quite figure out what is happening. He's still choked up, struggling to inhale.

_Breathe, you idiot_. Mantis sounds exasperated in his mind, sounds more like himself than he did in months. And sound nothing like a croaking barely breathing figure from his (Mantis's?) dream.

"Hey", Liquid manages, not even bothering with talking over the link, his brain too fried still after what he's experienced. "I guess... I know the reason for the coffee now", his voice is still weak from sleep, but he tries to joke, tries to seem like it didn't affect him in the least, even if there's no point in it, Mantis can clearly see, can actually feel how distraught he is.

"I'm sorry" and for once Mantis actually does manage to sound apologetic. He also sounds utterly exhausted. "You shouldn't have seen that".

Liquid's racing mind is slowly coming to reality. "Is that how it is every time?", he manages, even if he's afraid of the answer.

Mantis turns his head away, staring at the blank wall with something unreadable in his eyes. "Pretty much. Thought you wouldn't exactly appreciate a re-hash of the worst moments of my life on loop every night".

"We used to sleep together all the time. It wasn't as bad before". Back then they both had nightmares at times, but they also had plenty of others, more pleasant dreams and whenever a particularly bad one came around they would always comfort each other. Liquid is not sure who should comfort who after this nightmarish display.

Mantis huffs out a loud exhale behind the gas mask. "Things change, Eli".

Liquid's heart skips a beat at that childish name. No one has called him that in years and he's pretty sure no one will for a long time after this. "I guess they do".

"I'm going to make you some coffee as well", Mantis shrugs, pushing himself off the bed. "And you will stay here and think about the merits of digging into someone's subconscious".

Liquid doesn't even have the heart for a rebuttal to that. He sinks back into a bed that was supposed to be shared, but never is and the only responce he can find is "Sure".

**Author's Note:**

> the cons of having a psychic boyfriend - you now also have his trauma as well. enjoy!


End file.
